If you have just suffered from a break up you will feel like there is no hope. It is natural to get depression or hide yourself away for a period of time. Sometimes you do not even want to talk to friends and family as it is like a grieving process. Please understand that this is normal. There is no reason to get angry with yourself or feel like a failure, it happens to most of us at some point in our lives.
There is a real similarity between a broken heart after break up and a death. Of course, we all deal with break ups differently, but scientific evidence proves that the same receptors in our brains are activated when we get dumped as when someone dies. Because of this, it is very important that we surround ourselves with people that are positive and who can understand how we feel. It is also a good idea to seek out the advice of experts and friends only tell you things that you do not want to hear and do little to help you in the road to recovery.
Why is it that when someone has dumped you, that they tell you to move on and forget about it? It is not as easy as that. Heart ache is a difficult time in anyone’s life and you cannot just snap out of it like people suggest or expect you to. There is no shame in this at all, so do not put yourself down. People can try to move on too quickly and get into rebound relationships in an attempt to cover up the scars. This spells disaster. Take your time and work out what you want and if you want to wallow in misery for a while, you have every right to.
When the split has occurred there are many thoughts going through your mind and various questions that you want the answer to. There is a need to go over the recent past with a fine tooth come in an attempt to look for clues that this was coming. You begin to question your whole relationship and if everything was a lie. This can be an extremely confusing time and it is usual for people to get overly emotional and react in an irrational manner. If someone has been such a huge part of your life then to suddenly not be in contact with them anymore is hard to get used to. You will find yourself eager to text, call or email your ex to see how they are feeling post break up and look for any clues that they regret it. This can of course do more harm than good. We all know people who have done this and how pathetic it can make you look, only reinforcing your ex’s decision to break up with you.
Do You Think That This Behaviour Is Attractive To Your Ex?
When you think of a drug addict, desperate for drugs, no sense of self respect and solely preoccupied with getting their next fix, you will begin to realise how your ex may be viewing you at this time. I am not saying that you are acting exactly like a drug addict, addicted to contact your ex, but try to assess your behaviour and ask yourself if it is normal. Put yourself in the shoes of your ex and think of how you would view them if they seemed like they did not accept the break up and couldn’t let go.
Is Your Ex Afraid Of Your Behaviour At This Time?
In case you are wondering, the wrong things for you to do at this time would be to hassle your ex or consistently come up with pitiful excuses to speak to them. It will be very obvious to them if you start to do this and only make you look foolish in their eyes. Coincidentally bumping into them or hanging around where they work or live will also spell disaster for you. You do not want to appear crazy or pathetic in any way to them or they will definitely not want you back or be attracted to you at all. You must work on your self respect after break up to allow your ex to see you in a different light and reconsider their decision.
How Do You Behave Post Break Up To Make Them Want You Back?
It would be a good idea to think back to the period when you and your ex first met. What kind of a person were you then in comparison to how you are now? Think about it carefully. If you know the reasons why your ex was attracted to you initially then you can work on getting them back. You are still the same person as you were back then, you just have to make your ex realise it again. Note down how you felt then, what you said to your ex to make them happy, what you did together, what they said they loved about you. Then work out what went wrong and if the effort you put into the relationship has waned over time.
Biologically we all want something that is harder to get, especially men, when you think about it, we value someone or something that we have to work for. We end up respecting it much more and holding it in higher esteem. This is the mindset that you have to arm yourself with if you want to get you ex back. This simple change is the first thing that you should do in your strategy to get your ex back, in doing so you will notice a huge change, not only in yourself, but also in the way that your ex reacts to you. This in turn will boost your confidence and give you the motivation to use the other effective strategies that are recommended by the experts.
What Are The Other Strategies?
There are literally hundreds of other successful tips, tricks and strategies that you can employ which will give you excellent results. Sometimes it takes longer for your ex to come back to you depending on your personal circumstances, but you would be surprised how fast you will notice things working. Patience is the key here, if you are determined to work at this and follow the advice of the experts exactly, then there is every chance that you will be successful in getting your ex back.
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